Published on November 16th, 2015 | by Ann Rickard


Dud Rented Movies

Don’t you hate it when you rent a movie with high expectations of a couple of hours in fantasy land only to find it is nothing like you expected?

Instead of being entertained for a couple of hours, you are bored, depressed, disappointed.

“When you rent Scarlett Johansson you want Hollywood glamour, not a sad alien”

And yes, sad though it may be, I still rent movies. From the video store. I haven’t upgraded to Netflix or any other fandango on-line thingy that promises endless hours of viewing with the push of a button.

I’m still having trouble with Austar and our old-fashioned remote that broke down long ago and is held together with green duct tape.

The only way to change channels is to go into a small room under the stairs where all our antiquated entertainment stuff lives – DVD player, CD player and press a button with a little arrow on it on the Austar box.

Sorry. I was talking about movies that promise much and let you down. When you take out a movie starring one of your favourite Hollywood stars who has a string of successes and awards, you expect it to be really good.

Better than good. So what was Scarlett Johansson doing in the drearily drab, achingly slow Under the Skin?

She’s normally so gorgeous and fabulous, but in this movie she prowls around gritty dark Glasgow streets with barely a line of dialogue.

If I’d suffered it to the end I would have realised she was alien and maybe understood the premise, but it was so depressing I couldn’t take more than half an hour of it.

When you rent Scarlett Johansson you want Hollywood glamour, not a sad alien posing as a loser.

As for that marvellously fiendish-looking Danish bloke with the high cheek bones (Mads Mikkelsen) who played such a despicable villain in the James Bond Casino Royale movie and also stars as a diabolical Hannibal Lecterin the television series – what a disappointment he was in The Hunt.

The video cover promised something deeply dark and action-packed with Mads staring out of the cover with those glass-cutting cheekbones and stabbing eyes.

It turned out be a Danish film with sub-titles and a long-winded disturbing story about a teacher being wrongly accused of bad stuff.

Sad. But not in a good teary entertaining way. In a disturbing way.

Not for a moment do I think an actor can’t take on a role other than that we expect of her or him … it’s just the disappointment that comes when you want a movie to have you on the edge of your seat because you know the actor is capable of that, and there he is playing a sad school teacher … or an alien.

I was possibly the only person on the planet who hated Mrs Doubtfire. Of course, Robin Williams was funny dressed up as a fuddy-duddy old lady, but the movie was about a father separated from his children and desperate to see them.

When Irent a comedy I want to have an aching side from laughing.

When I rent a thriller I want to be thrilled.

When I rent action I want white-knuckle action.

Perhaps best I stop renting and join Netflix or whatever else is new.

Then I can stop boring you with my unasked for opinions.


About the Author

is a Noosa (Australia) local and author of six successful books, all humorous travel narratives. In 2005 Ann won the prestigious ASTW’s Australian Travel Writer of the Year and in 2007 she won the ASTW Travel Book of the Year. Ann takes a culinary tour to the South of France in June every year . Ann writes travel, dining and columns for the Sunshine Coast Daily and is the Life editor of the Noosa News. Ann also maintains a well read and popular blog site. Ann’s travels have seen her explore cuisines all over the world.

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